WELSH MEASLES LATEST – 50 Dalmations, Zoo Snow Leopard & Gerbil Hospitalised As Welsh Docs Take No Chances

Internationally fears of travelling to the UK have caused the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MOFA) Taipei, China to issue warnings to citizens planning to travel to be on the alert in the face of a measles outbreak:  MOFA warns visitors to UK of measles outbreak The China Post May 5, 2013.

CHS also previously reported the official numbers of laboratory confirmed cases in the current Swansea measles emergency reaching crisis proportions with one new human case of measles in March and 8 for the whole of Wales [population 3 million]Welsh Measles Epidemic – Only 8 Cases Confirmed For March – 302 Wrongly Diagnosed and “Notified” By Docs.

Morgan Llwellyn Morgan-Williams-Morgan the media spokesman for Health Protection Wales has confirmed the latest admissions to Emergency Hospital Care Centres in Swansea, Wales:

The single new human case in Swansea in March has stretched NHS Wales’ resources to breaking point.  But we have been forced to take further emergency measures amidst warnings from W.H.O., Geneva that the measles virus may mutate to cross-infect animal hosts as was threatened with the previous bird and swine flu pandemics.

HPA Wales pays tribute to the dedication and tenacity of Welsh family doctors to get to grips with this outbreak and notify potential cases.

We have deployed specially trained teams of health professionals at the Centre for Spotting Spottiness at the intentionally unpronounceable Abertawe Bro Morgannwg University Health Board. These experts have under close observation in critical care wards a significant number of spotty animals.

Precautionary measures include the emergency admission to wards of 50 dalmatians, a snow leopard and gerbil.

Elderly patients with strokes and heart conditions are advised to go to MacDonalds in Foundry Road, Swansea have a coffee and wait for their number to come up whilst highly trained medical professionals deal with the current pressing emergency.” 

Animal Rights Wales spokesman Rhodri Morgan-Williams-Morgan aged 48 [no relation] has expressed outrage:

This is just too little too late.  The Government is not doing enough. One gerbil is just a paltry token to animal ethnic minorities at the greatest risk.

Millions of Swansea animals are at risk.  Ants, spiders and other insects should also be vaccinated as an emergency measure.”

A spokesman for the Animalarium, Borth Zoo, Ceredigion said:

The snow leopard has since been discharged. Experts could not spot anything.”

[This report is from the Made-up News Bureau, Health Protection Wales: experts in mixing fact with fiction to bring you the latest thrills and spills of modern health protection.]

5 Responses

  1. It had me googling Morgan Llwellyn Morgan-Williams-Morgan’s name to see if that was his real name, then as I read further…..

    ……I’m relieved you have a sense of humour ( to at aleast post it ).

    Most amusing….:)

  2. I strongly urge the UK to institute with all immediate haste a “Kissing License”, Since not only measles but all manner of human and inter species pathogens may be passed by this practice kissing should be STRONGLY regulated..

    As for the far more pathogen distributive practice of sex; it should be obviously BANNED.

  3. Lol

  4. Ill-informed drivel and your stereotyping of Welsh people is borderline racism.

    [ED: Some people have no sense of humour]

  5. I would love to see this to follow on from the Welsh crisis…

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